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September 22, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments
Dont bring your Lupus Armor Set.

Don't bring your Lupus Armor Set.

With this year, more so than ever before, competition for the 18-35 year demographic is coming from all sides at the once king of the ring, television; especially from a fresh-faced contender, MMOs. Rumors* circulate about Frankenstein-like TV execs looking to capitalize on MMOs growing popularity by injecting their own IPs into one…


House MD MMO (MMOMD) – This MMO is all about the end game. Raid level content consists of trying to Mez the only Boss, Dr House, with the [+5 Vicodin] you got from grinding Wilson Rep, before House’s Litany of Curses attack drops the main tanks Ego to 0 and the raid wipes.

Simpsons MMO – You’ll play this MMO mostly for nostalgia’s sake; it stopped being fun years ago.

CSI – All attack animations in this MMO are a 30 minute montages, set to classic rock, of your character pouring fluorescent liquids from vial to vial and then placing the vials inside a machine. These animations can not be skipped. Early reports have the average player hitting max level at just under 600 days of playtime.

Two expansions are planned but they are largely considered reskinned money grabs.

Lost MMO– Powered by the Infinite Quest Engine. LMMO is an endless maze of chatting to NPCs and faction grinding, with no actual information learned or faction gained. There is only one quest, but it has no end; and any time you get close to completing the quest the objective changes. One player character is chosen at random everyday and killed.

The Office MMO – You’ll want to play this because everyone will tell you how it’s the best MMO ever, but when you finally sit down to play you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.

The Mentalist – You take on the role of a junior member of the CBI – the California Bureau of Investigation. Most of the game revolves around butting your way into local police jurisdictions by proper use of your organizations vague authority. Once that is completed Patrick Jane, an NPC, sends you out on quests with little explanation, relevance or instructions while he actually solves the crimes.

Pushing Daisies MMO – this MMO has been canceled.

The Big Bang Theory MMO – This sandbox MMO game has you take on the role of you. The game simply activates the built in cam on your PC and overlays a game HUD. XP is awarded for posts in the site’s forum explaining how the developers have personally offended you, discussions over Skype with your friends on what a real Big Bang Theory game should be like and writing blog posts about how much better WoW is than this game. Bonus XP awarded for the number of visits you get from a platonic (as far as she’s concerned) attractive female neighbor.

This game is hailed for being, “very Meta.”


*by “rumors” I mean totally made up by me about an hour ago.

** this is not a post to capitalize on popular meta-tag search terms. Honest… Well, mostly not. But if it’s there it’s not like I should pass up the opportunity right?  I’m not sure what the proper ‘net-iquette’ is in situations like this.  Geez, I sound like a douche. “Net-iquette”? What was I thinking? Sorry.

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